going home

tomorrow aunt therese pulls life support   his organs will be harvested   there is no way of returning from the severity of the second stroke he suffered on saturday   their 45th wedding anniversary shakespeare has nothing on...

no telling

morning i feel so upset and stomach knotted Uncle Rick is not doing well we figure he is brain dead already since his second stroke on saturday they are doing brain scans looking for activity is my understanding he has not regained...

in the teeth

omg my legs are killing me from yoga and incline walking good lord. it is hot today too and i cant run my a/c full time because of amata the escape artist. she is a trip her latest go to is breaking into closed cupboard doors so unless...

arseholes

i swear everytime i speak to mark he tries to make me hate him seriously he is so windsor nothing more needs said argumentative and neurotic exploitive and bullying etc freak. so nugget is not doing well she is mainly hiding in...

enhanced

morning my one foot is absolutely killing me lately new shoes are a factor; the other ones so worn they are falling apart so no choice. so yesterday uncle rick had a second stroke on his good side so it is not looking good for him he...

good side

uncle rick had a stroke on his good side today things are not looking good for him nor the outcome. he is in surgery heading over there procrastinating. prayers please. gorgeous day tho.  

10 months

im lonely before the day even starts. thats a true statement so mom is busy today; we worked out yesterday instead for those that have lost their loved ones, parents, partners. i dont know how you find the strength because i miss her like...

revamp

so went to moms after i ran on my tread to work her out walked there, did our do my cousin had my mom babysit her kid so he at least slept through our workout when he woke up? omg just rancor. cry and whine and cry and whine so it wasnt...

a long time ago

so it seems like after all of that nothing is going to change after all i have written the powers that be to see if i can have my rental subsidy transferred to a different municipality and they literally ignore me. this is the theme of my...

roller coaster

hi so today has been a roller coaster uncle rick seemed to be less affected by the stroke the day of but then took a bad turn for the worse yesterday he is unable to talk now but can hear everything they were supposed to do a...

silent now

so the apartment i was the most stoked about in kw has a bed bug report or three to be exact so that is scrapped from the table there is no way in gods name id live in that again i wouldnt mind getting into 76 tecumseh road i tried...

uncle rick

uncle rick has had a stroke heading over to the hospital to support aunt therese for a small bit all of it stresses me out but aunt therese has been very good to me. poor woman. she has had a very hard life too who hasnt really when you...

maligning

had a great convo with this woman on the north halton distress line. and she totally gets it; the manipulation and the scapegoating so they never have to look honestly at their own shit and the pigeon holing and how inaccurate that profiling is...

what is the point.

so i go to my moms house to work her out give up my entire day the earth rally i would have liked to attend the gym etc ran on my tread and then i head over there i tell her a story about a lady i had met in the laudromat the night...

imbalance

sickening neighbors smoking in the building again good morning gag anyways the newest one is my neighbor of scream at me in my face for feeding birds is stealing the food out of the feeder as fast as i can put it in mike the owner moved...

ambivalent

omg so much to do my mind is on fire dont know where to start to organize the chaos lol busy busy busy im not good with busy im better off bored and brain dead in routine it keeps my anxiety in check anyway, there are lottery...

it hurts

wow well that was a disappointing morning. i wait all week long to go to the barn and wings and i had sue today instead of becky becky just was at home so feel the love there. she has not wanted to work with me since i came they...

supervised window sitting

morning soreness is feeling a bit better feeling still pretty run down i didnt really do any forced cardio yesterday i walked to moms and then did free weights and spot work with her took it down a weight but was ok then walked...

teenage

thinking this growing my hair thing is over. frankly lol my hair is so thin and whispy and just difficult this is why i keep it short i like it better that way anyways might not look the best to other people but i like it fine ...

disappear

should be sleeping but instead im sneaking in this little drop in my body is so sore lately it is abnormal i have no idea where this is coming from but wowsa i went for another three hour walk this morning i find going early on is almost...

so alone

hey wilting fast so this wont be very long took the day off the gym for once in a million years and went for a three hour walk instead this morning. my body has been hurting me big time. dunno why exactly i havent been varying it up that...

Ezzy girl 2

omg this rain really ugh at least i can walk when im lonely this shit? you cant even that. it is a special kind of misery gotta get to the gym if i can ever get it in gear meh gonna start cleaning sifting sorting and packing. ...

no one to go with

Pretty tired of having no one to share anything with. I am lonely but lonely is not a strong enough word. I feel like i cant connect with people around me; both i cant and others cannot connect or try to connect with me. I can be with others...

obviously

i think part of what bothers me about rebel too is it reminds me of me. they just throw you out if you have an injury or require repair doesnt matter how well you were of service how good you even were at what you did. no one wants to...

gone

go to bed depressed wake up depressed angry sad miserable nothing to do no where to go offered jobs in the county i cant get to and "family" that wouldnt help me if their life depended on it but theyd be the first in line to call you a...