off

Not feeling well these days. going tomorrow for xray for my shoulder, and then to get blood work done. so tired all the time which is not me. i came home grabbed something to eat i went for my walk afterwards for about thirty mins came...

faith

my stomach has been hurting me so badly ive been so tired lately too if it doesnt stop im gonna have to go get my blood work checked. i am in love with my new boarder.... she is smelly and messy but boy does she make me laugh she...

Amata ( what's amata for you??) lol

omg my body has been just killing me lately my right shoulder and back upper have been nagging at me for some time now actually and it is starting to impede my ability to pull weight etc like a trap rotator cuff thing. but omg hurt and ive...

alone most of all.

moms side of the family's party tonight i sat alone christmas i will be alone too. completely i dont even have a gym to go to this will be the first christmas in my life i will be alone. the ironic thing is im sure my molestor alcoholic...

power trippin

tired sore throat last riding lesson today before christmas didnt go as smoothly as i had hoped; but was enjoyable none the less did a lot of independent riding i think it was the furthest i have ridden away from becky ever she acted...

full moon nite

so here i sit aiming for bed. where to begin. sitting in the midst of yet another train wreck with some of the same cars involved mind you from previous occasions but a disaster area none the less. im so tired i dont know where to begin....

in who you are

people discrediting you and not believing you not respecting you enough to do their job or take action to uphold your protection and your justice? their subordinating and devaluing is a form of bullying itself. ridiculing you as their voice...

most of all

My ex gf was in the hospital on Wednesday.  She is literally falling apart.  She has no will to live literally since her mom passed away; she doesnt take proper care of herself, and i told mom just the day or so before she landed in the hospital that...

nervous breakdown on the horizon

so hinging on a nervous breakdown literally too much to say too tired to bother. like a hamster exerting all this energy and making no ground whatsoever. just want the timing of a subsidy to housing up there to come up or a placement geared...

alone

evening so again these fools as windsor normal have refused enough objectivity to do their damn job. this woman from the human rights legal center here in windsor told beth anne that she would attend my mediation with st clair on monday. then...

pumpkin and pneumonia

ok im full blown sick now sore throat and sore ears and running a fever even argh. snotty in the chest scratchy in the throat thank you stupid broad spewing her germs on everyone at the gym and the personal trainer that parked her blowing her...

thats a wrap

feel like im fighting the flu.... thanks to the personal trainer that positioned her announcingly sick client directly beside me on the row machine blowing her nose breath around on exertion thanks for sharing the wealth much appreciated. ...

4 mos

4 months today Ezzy left The world is definitely colder and harder.

pray for me

morning i think the thing that will be the hardest when leaving this unit is it is the last place my esmeralda was with me. all the memories etc. gone. where she shed last the last bits of her dna left behind. breaks my heart. ...

expertise

I could use that criminal injuries money more now than ever lemme tell ya with the increased cost of living and our "income" remaining the same sooner or later it will be people on disability that cannot afford an apartment it used to be...

confused

morning woke up feeling pretty good thats a first in a long time the sun is shining; also a first in a long while. thank god i swear that my one cat Charlotte has SAD too. lol for real no word of a lie. anyways, im supposed to be going...

long and dark nite

phew i miss ezzy like crazy im avoiding going to bed because i do and i also have been crying a lot lately i dont know if it is menopause or if it is just everything but im avoiding going to bed because i know ill cry before sleep again...

wait

sitting here with tears rolling down my face it is dark out and black as night trying to get out the door to go to the gym so mundane go to sleep crying myself to sleep and i wake up crying literally nothing seems to budge. i do all...

must be the cold

well i totally screwed that up this morning i was meant to clean for the humane society and instead i shut my alarm off and rolled back over woke up like over two hours later. wtg see now Esmeralda? would never have let that happen. ...

bad faith

for two days in a row now ive had to listen to the sexist ramblings of stupid windsor men. seriously is it practically the year 2017 or what? Do other women subjected to this as much as they pour it on me or is it because some how my short...

appreciate

Dear Esmeralda I am sorry if i didnt pay you more attention and if you ever felt forgotten in the craziness of my mental illness and the distractions of my mind. We always had our special cuddle time at bedtime; you could reliably count on me...

fun times

so tired tonight i intended on doing my laundry but it will have to wait until tomorrow or monday even. i have enough clean underpants and such to get me through. alls well. lol soooo lonesome. havent talked to my yee ha friend there in...

people wow.

Morning so another week has passed and i spent a week trying to get in touch with people and line things up. at least friday proved to be fruitful to a point; not entirely but to a point. So Becky agreed to continuing to work with me at the...

unsupportive

morning monsoon rains thinking of jumping on my tread for a bit was going to go to the gym was up in time for but the rain was just flooding down it seems to have subsided now in time for the hallowoof event im supposed to be volunteering...

debrief

i should be in bed ive been up since around 430 am this morning went to the gym got there by like 630 i want to say? shrug came home after a three hour workout meh did my laundry meh did another hour walk in the pouring rain meh went...