7 months today

feeling lonely and depressed everyone blowing me off because the weather is nice and they have things theyd rather do that dont include me i havent seen my mom going on two weeks because i was sick so she couldnt be bothered to see me when...

oscars

  went to the gym   think i over did again   feeling very very tired now.   run down   then i went to the grocery to get some fruit   and now im too tired to eat it anyway   so i guess ill have it for tomorrow....

love you too.

feel like crap i slept for about three hours this afternoon and that is with antibiotics i went out walking for about two hours running errands felt good to be out and about and moving then i came back and crashed out hard wonder if...

toxic crap

morning so lonely and bored i jumped on my mini tramp for about twenty minutes trying to clear out my lymph gonna go for a walk up to the dollarama and to grab some over priced cat food from lippi's and the name doenst under describe. lol ...

give up

bronchial pneumonia yep thats right i emailed becky to ask about the line up of my lesson and how i did why she is acting so nervous or indifferent with me no answer. then they wonder why i would want to quit therapy shouldnt make...

disconnect

hey gonna hit the hay in a bit the more i think about it the more mean spirited i think it was that they would not lend me something to wear at the barn. theyve offered me something before. my sweatshirt was fresh from the laundry it isnt...

knowing love

I am still feeling like a sack of crap my throat is killing me something fierce so im gonna have to go to a clinic at some point tomorrow or saturday ive been taking my tetracycline to see if that would touch the throat shit nada ive...

passing out

i came home from working out and i was so run down i was too tired to really eat properly i fell asleep almost right away and slept until about 630 i got up and took my laundry down got that done anyways on the way back i literally...

humid

hey so weirdos been at the gym twice in a row when im there and yesterday even after being told to play nice in the sandbox by management and keep her distance she was proximal to me the entire time following me no word of a lie. ...

cant even talk

i feel so uncomfortable i dont know what to do with myself literally i am so sick there are no words. i cant sleep i cant rest i cant move i cant eat i cant ugh im like a man baby with a cold but it is more than a cold. all...

run down

I am feeling so sick. and run down i slept this morning until 945 that is a world record for me im typically out of that bed by 7 latest 8 i woke  up around 6 fed the cats and took a piss amata started acting up so i chased her around with...

legacy

so tired of being alone and friendless really in this world. i dont know how much more i can take of it i was so hoping that the criminal injuries comp board would have given me what i was asking for and in a lump; that way if i end up taking...

that she was

the sun scoffs at me as it mocks me with its inviting lure the promise of fun and frolic under its glorious embrace the stroke on my face and hair the gentle breeze in the branches as i walk pass even the birds have companionship they...

saddle

morning supervision of a loonatic cat in the window. rolling my eyes at you i have not been able to sleep properly in part due to my mind racing and menopause and partly due to Amata Im too old for this shit; add about ten years to her...

soul

wrote this entire entry on my phone lying in bed all i did was cry last night i think i slept maybe 3 hours total between my heart and Amata < where in everytime i would finally fall asleep shed go tearing across the apartment waking me...

out of this

so exhausted gonna be an early night to bed tonight phew what a fuckn life what a fuckn week shaking my head so i have new neighbors barreling in moving in at 7 o freakn clock at night. two university guys one in teachers college the...

to stand alone.

some work man next door tearing down a wall at 7 in the fuckn morning   now at 920 it is silence across the great divide this landlord is a special kind of douche bag he actually makes no sense he buys an apartment building but wants to...

sunday recap

worst headache on record did a half run for the cats tonight so windy i could hardly press back against it to walk home no word of a lie. i did my boxfit class today and the instructor is so tough; it is awesome torture. lol but my neck...

out again

ive just been sitting here bawling for hours i bawled all the way home from the interview they didnt see me cry but ya i did i was going to go to the gym or for a walk by the water but i went to the pharmacy to get a bottle of iron...

never "good" enough

So i went to my interview today; at least the weather is absolutely beautiful. at least that as they say Needless to say it of course was a dead end people see my crazy ass walk in and that is the end of it they were at least extremely...

waiting

hey feel like im invisible these days so lonely and bored. dunno why exactly why more so than normal but i just feel void. went to the gym this morning to do my boxfit class and the instructor wasnt there; off sick so they did a...

unfounded

  omg this town is so twisted and abusive and mentally torturing all the fuckn time this cop the loon appointed cop that is so unethical in the first fuckn place that they have some woman appointed to me because they assume everything i say...

chronic fatigue

hey so tired these days dunno why exactly i have a requisition to go get my blood work done but i really have no interest in having to go back to the dr that gave it to me. I have appointments this month i need to get straight on my calendar...

dead

I am so miserable and depressed these days way out of sorts nothing feels good im not interested in or inspired or happy by anything anymore i just want out of windsor. period. no one likes me and it is hurtful to feel and experience on a...