no telling

morning

i feel so upset and stomach knotted

Uncle Rick is not doing well

we figure he is brain dead already since his second stroke on saturday

they are doing brain scans looking for activity is my understanding

he has not regained consciousness since his surgery on saturday

and they said he should have come out of it later that night

which he never has at all.

so it is such a very sad situation.

very sad.

sigh.

: (

poor aunt therese

i can literally feel her pain and suffering

i couldnt hardly sleep for it last night

picturing that poor woman going into her home again all alone

a home that he and her spent their lives together raising their children

together the last few years in retirement.

her children both live in alberta

aunt therese will be completely and utterly

alone.

uncle rick used to work at the golf course

he'd pick up golf balls to get a free golf game? or reduced or something like that

uncle rick forever frugal lol when meanwhile he is literally

a millionaire. no exaggeration.

nugget has been doing a bit better thank goodness

i went over to moms to work her out yesterday

not as sore today from the yoga. still a bit

im watching a couple kiss each other goodbye outside my window.

awww. :)

going off to work.

makes me think of aunt therese and uncle rick

how many times they didnt do that matter of fact

dont we all really?

sad, and so scary

you just never know when

or how. yikes

was thinking more about savoy's comparison of herself to a dancer.

what an absolute crock of crap

the woman is obviously so ignorant as to what it takes to be a dancer for real.

id like to see that moose put on a pair of pointe shoes.

id like to see a winnowy ballerina punch a heavy bag.

get real

the body conditioning of both sports are so polar

there is no comparison

other than fancy foot work nada.

id love to see savoy kick

? right? turn out?

id love to see a ballerina do a gazillion push ups

lol for real just the stupidest and most offensive analogy ive ever heard.

you my friend, are a boxer, not a dancer.

i finally found my nice tea here in windsor and bought four cannisters

already down to three.

i am going to give mom one too btw

i received my june cicb periodic payment

straight into my savings account.

and i was approved for life insurance!

that was one good bit of news yesterday

so that makes me feel a bit more comforted knowing

that i can leave somewhat of a legacy

regardless of how much smaller than if i could have with my life's work.

: )

still havent heard anything about the subsidy transfer

?

ridiculous.

i have a lunch ready for them at the hospital although im sure under the circumstances

no one will have much of an appetite

if there is no brain activity

they will be pulling him from life support

and see if that kicks the brain into what it should do

if not then they are harvesting his organs.

shaking my head.

i cant even fathom

i cant imagine how aunt therese feels

just all of a sudden

your loved one is gone

no last hug no kiss goodbye knowing that it is the last.

devastating.

i cant imagine the chest crushing loss.

like i said of having to go back home

alone. forever.

without your life partner of 45 yrs

the day he had his second stroke was their 45th wedding anniversary.

you couldnt make this stuff up.

phew.

anyways im off for now.

come back gather myself clean myself up some

then off to comfort in anyway i can.

my neighbors were acting like asses again last night

must of got their hands on some good "stuff"

monday night? and they were screaming and of course harassing ME with their friends.

she talks about me to them in front of me now because she has been told NOT TO TALK TO me.

so she talks about me to them

she is one of the most pathetic human beings.

you know she has the potential to be a quasi good person her and him

the two of them need to go to rehab

and CHOOSE to grow the fuck up

then maybe then.

have a good one

o btw

i entered the CBC poetry contest.

i would love to win a runner up prize even a long list making would be extremely flattering.

ive had other things published in my past.

but i havent written as much in the recent past.

i was looking for my poems my book of them

couldnt find them

i have so much sifting and that june 5 the diabetes car is coming to pick up my crap

so this weekend will be the final purge.

cant wait in fact.

then im sure

a funeral but then again you never know

a miracle, could happen.

this has been so unpredictable there is really

no telling.

o ps. tami decides to call me last night

on monday night right?

o fuck off.

dumb dumb nasty abusive bitch.

i wanted to rip her face off through the phone

i said o now you can be bothered to call me on a monday night?

and i hung the fuck up

fuck that shit. you fly by night self centered game playing ASS.

i called her on saturday and told her in message that uncle rick had had the second stroke

she was too busy acting the ass

grand standing for her sons friends

talk about grow up!

jerry springer guests her and the ones downstairs.

yuck.

 

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