nor should it be

Today was uncle rick's wake.

aunt therese is a mess; her knees buckle underneath of her when you hug her

you can feel her pain through her body

i feel so badly for her.

and theres nothing we can do

she doesnt want to leave the body all the time

i guess at the hospital they were supposed to harvest his organs

but she laid with the dead body for two and a half hours and the organs ended up wasted.

She donated his eyes which i dont understand since he always wore glasses. i guess some vision is better than none.

anyways heather was a trooper; she looks like a little kid but ill tell ya shes come through like a brave grown ass woman.

im proud of her

i guess ken and sandy got in today for the funeral which im glad he could make it for

and the grand kids will be there.

my dads sisters came in and that actually triggered me.

they look good for their age.

aunt lory has really gotten better looking now that she is through her transition

and aunt judy looks like my sister to me anyways.

i was really touched that the students aunt therese worked with at essex high

that are disabled, came to support her many of which

on their own

the one girl is 21 and lives independently and volunteers

the other is 22 and she works drives and lives on her own now

good work aunt therese.

i dont understand how such a kind hearted woman could have such a brutally hard life.

doesnt hardly seem fair.

all of this loss makes me sad about my rebel

it actually hurts my feelings that they dont think my program and the work i do with him is important enough to transfer him out AFTER im done.

i matter too you know and right now with all this loss

the one thing id love to be able to do is at LEAST

finish my program out on Rebs.

Steady eddy

i call him even steven.

i love rebel i really do he is like a pet to me.

ive always loved his personality. felt the safest with him as i have with any of the horses.

im sure no one will turn into a pumpkin if they wait three more weeks.

let me finish with my horse.

i dont think thats too much to ask

nor should it be.

basic respect.


ps debbie came to the funeral my cousin that is friends with that cop tammy fryer?

and debbie never even said hello to me

just kept eyeballing me to see if im fatter or whatever


fuck off.

so immafucknture.

perpetual highschool

i am so not like the women in this town. stepford wives where they are convinced it is a competition and all about how you look

well indoctrinated by the PATRIARCH that is this area anyways.

puke puke puke

in the words of my mom.


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