signed on

feeling so sad and restless

it has been a long three weeks.

ive just about had my fill of family for another ten years

god i feel like i need a hosing down in a biohazard zone

for toxic waste exposure.

I just want to be distanced

this is why i want out of here

and i have no one close enough to me to even care about how i feel about all of this.

sometimes i wonder if any of this is real

i think sometimes how did we all end up here

in this gig

that none of us signed on for.

all floating around on a breeze like

is it real? is anything real anyways?

all temporary in between space

what is all of this for?

why are we here?

why did we get no choice in being here?

other than removing ourselves.

there really is no other choice

it isnt or wasnt ours anyways.

to be here.

that decision was made for us

we get to determine that outcome

to a point.

the in between is what i dont understand

what is it all for seriously

is there an after life?

everything we have in our life is temporary

it is always slipping through our fingers

the only thing that remains forever

is love

and memories

and even those are gone when those that were directly involved are gone

except for energy

i believe that we are all connected in way of matter too

that there is residual DNA of all things left behind

that then creates new things.

so in that way we are all from the same

all one.

yet

so alone.

gnite.

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